1 00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:05,005 Cheers is filmed before A live studio audience. 2 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:08,008 Last call, everybody. 3 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,343 You going to wake norm? 4 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:10,878 That won't be necessary. 5 00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:13,847 [beep beep] 6 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,117 One more, And I'm a memory. 7 00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:19,120 Coming right up. 8 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,154 How long was I asleep? 9 00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:21,689 A couple of hours. 10 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:25,059 You dropped off During cliff's Florida travelogue. 11 00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:26,794 Yeah. Boy, you were The lucky one. 12 00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:30,030 Any subject you bring up He uses as an opening. 13 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,899 Yeah, at least before He went to florida, 14 00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:34,802 He was boring on A range of topics. 15 00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:36,804 Cool it. He's coming. 16 00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:39,039 Don't anybody say anything About anything. 17 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,909 Look at this, huh? He is risen. 18 00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:46,714 He was snoring away For quite a while, Wasn't he, carla? 19 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,982 Yeah, yeah. 20 00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:51,552 Well, another day Shot, huh? 21 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,387 I guess I'll just slip Off to the old hacienda 22 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,823 And close The peepers. 23 00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:57,591 Good night. 24 00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:58,692 Later. 25 00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:01,462 It's not really Later in florida, sammy. 26 00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:04,532 It's a popular Misconception. 27 00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:07,034 It's eastern standard Daylight time Down there, too. 28 00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:08,769 Speaking of time, 29 00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:11,739 Boy, it really stops Still when you're In the everglades. 30 00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:14,208 Boy, they've got Huge gators down there. 31 00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:16,076 You know, gators Are what we who are 32 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,978 Familiar with florida Call alligators. 33 00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:20,581 Yeah, they've got Huge gators And gigantic crocs. 34 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,049 You all know What a croc is? 35 00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:24,218 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 36 00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:27,688 The first morning There was crystalline. 37 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,523 As I was stepping Onto the hydrofoil, 38 00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:32,693 The captain, Billy bob dupree, I think his name was, 39 00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:35,196 Asked me not to bring The beach umbrella 40 00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:38,632 Because it got caught in The prop on the way up... 41 00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:45,105 * makin' your way In the world today * 42 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:48,209 * takes everything You've got * 43 00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:50,544 * takin' a break From all your worries * 44 00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:52,846 * sure would help a lot * 45 00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:57,451 * wouldn't you like To get away? * 46 00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:02,055 * sometimes You wanna go * 47 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:05,626 * where everybody Knows your name * 48 00:02:07,395 --> 00:02:11,799 * and they're always Glad you came * 49 00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:14,435 * you wanna be Where you can see * 50 00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:17,037 * our troubles Are all the same * 51 00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:22,343 * you wanna be where Everybody knows your name * 52 00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:25,078 * you wanna go Where people know * 53 00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:27,481 * people are all the same * 54 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:31,919 * you wanna go where Everybody knows your name * 55 00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:53,874 Hi. I'm finally here. 56 00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:55,142 Better late than never. 57 00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:56,977 It wouldn't Be my choice. 58 00:02:56,977 --> 00:03:00,514 Sorry, sam. Traffic was awful. 59 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,683 That's ok. What have We got here? 60 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,818 Just some things, 61 00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:08,322 Some things you forgot A few months ago-- 62 00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:12,260 To be opened later, Privately, very discreetly. 63 00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:16,430 Hey, my pants! All right! 64 00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:17,798 I've been looking For these. 65 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,933 Did you find them? In your bedroom? 66 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,669 A little louder, Please, 67 00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:24,171 For the 3 or 4 people In the ukraine Who didn't hear. 68 00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:26,206 There's more. 69 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,275 I don't know How you got along 70 00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:29,443 Without your Snoopy toothbrush. 71 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:33,347 Ooh, nice, sammy. Very nice. 72 00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:36,884 Mr. Tooth decay Better watch out now, Huh, sam? 73 00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:39,853 I'll have you know 74 00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:43,223 That 4 out of 5 dentists Rate this at the top. 75 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,658 I trust you'll Return the favor. 76 00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,894 I may have inadvertently Left one or two things 77 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,329 At your place. 78 00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:49,830 I'm almost sure I left My beige sweater there. 79 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:52,165 No problem. I'll take peek Under the bed. 80 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:55,769 Oh, you can keep that Little hand puppet You love so much. 81 00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,004 Hand puppet? 82 00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:59,673 Yes. Brian the lion. 83 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:01,141 Oh, yeah. 84 00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:03,411 Brian the lion. 85 00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:05,012 I remember how You were touched 86 00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:08,015 That I actually Gave you something I had in my childhood. 87 00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:09,550 Yeah, touched. Extremely. 88 00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,285 I'll give you Five bucks to run Out of the room 89 00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:12,386 Right now! Go on. Scoot. You got it. 90 00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:14,087 No, no. Take this-- 91 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,557 Ohh! 92 00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:18,659 Brian? 93 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:21,562 Oh, yeah, by golly, In this light, 94 00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:24,498 It does look A little bit Like brian. 95 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:29,437 Brian the lion, A bar rag? 96 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:36,610 Sam malone, you are The most insensitive, Insufferable boob 97 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:39,380 I've ever had The misfortune To run across. 98 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,214 Oh, come on. 99 00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:43,517 It just wasn't meant To work out between Me and brian. 100 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,753 I wasn't cut out To be a puppeteer. 101 00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:49,390 That's gotta be A tough thing for a man To admit in public, huh? 102 00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:53,394 Oh, come on. 103 00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,596 Oh, come on, Please, diane. 104 00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:58,732 Don't be mad at me. Hmm, please? 105 00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:02,703 Well, I guess I'm overreacting. 106 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:06,374 Oh, good. Then how About a little kiss? 107 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,510 Ok. 108 00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,679 And put some Tongue in it. 109 00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:22,523 Well, sammy, that'll be Five bucks for my mad dash Out of the room. 110 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,091 What was that All about? 111 00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:28,562 Brian the lion was My dearest childhood pal. 112 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,631 Oh. Then being A grimy bar rag 113 00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:33,401 Should be a step up. 114 00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,491 Norm, it's A little-known fact 115 00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:58,726 That the word "Florida" comes From the language 116 00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:00,293 Of the okefenokee Indians. 117 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:03,964 It means literally "Where the old people Come to sweat." 118 00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:08,168 Excuse me. Sam, see that lady there In the green dress? 119 00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:09,670 Yeah. 120 00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:11,872 I'm going to marry her. 121 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,274 You're going To marry her? I'm gonna marry her. 122 00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:15,843 What's her name? 123 00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:18,946 I don't know her name. That doesn't mean A thing. 124 00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:21,949 Sam, it's what We italians call The thunderbolt. 125 00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:23,751 I had the exact Same thing happen to me 126 00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:26,654 When I first laid eyes On my angela. 127 00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:29,490 Coach, don't you think You're jumping the gun A little bit here? 128 00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,492 Cliffy, honest, I know what I know. 129 00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:35,496 Normie, you think I should I go over there And introduce myself? 130 00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:36,997 Yeah, I think it's best. 131 00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:39,099 It eliminates That awkward First meeting 132 00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:42,002 At the altar. 133 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:46,640 Coach...That is the most Romantic thing 134 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,375 I've ever heard In this bar. 135 00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:50,210 Whoa, wait a minute. Thank you diane/ 136 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:54,615 Wait a minute. What about when I invited You to my nude limbo party? 137 00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:58,185 Christmas eve was A bad time for it, sam. 138 00:06:58,185 --> 00:07:00,253 Ah. Maybe so. 139 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,823 Trouble is, you're A little outnumbered Over there, coach. 140 00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,626 Yeah, coach, I think you Need somebody 141 00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:08,195 To run interference With her young friend. 142 00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:11,832 You're absolutely right. Sam, would you go over There with me? 143 00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:14,902 Yeah. Sam would've Been my pick. 144 00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:16,904 Coach, I'm gonna Be blunt with you. 145 00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:18,806 Her friend's cute And all that, 146 00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:21,074 But she doesn't have What I'm looking for In a woman. 147 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,744 What's that, Breakaway clothes? 148 00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:29,483 No, no. She just looks A little too tame For me, that's all. 149 00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:32,052 Come on, coach, You got to look at it From my point of view. 150 00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,887 I mean, I only have So many nights. 151 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:37,090 And I'd Trade all of mine For one of yours. 152 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:38,592 No, you wouldn't. 153 00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:41,529 Oh, yeah. I'd throw in My left lung, too. 154 00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:46,333 Please come over There with me. I'd appreciate it. 155 00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:50,203 Oh, boy. You know, The things I do For you, coach. 156 00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:51,672 Oh, thank you, sam. 157 00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:54,908 Gee, I haven't done this In such a long time. 158 00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:56,977 Look at my hands. They're sweaty. 159 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,512 Thank you, sam. 160 00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:05,452 Coach, I'm gonna tell you What you used to tell me 161 00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:08,822 When I was nervous and Going out to the mound In late innings. 162 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:09,957 What? 163 00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:11,324 Blow it, and I don't know you. 164 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,460 I should've written Some of those things down. 165 00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,596 You ready? Yeah. Let's go. 166 00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:18,599 Good evening, Ladies. 167 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:19,967 Hi. My name's Sam malone, 168 00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:22,369 And this Is my friend Ernie pantuso. 169 00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:25,005 You can Call him coach. 170 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:29,242 We were wondering if you ladies Could settle a bet for us. 171 00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:31,645 Are you two sisters? 172 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,614 [laughter 173 00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:35,983 My name's irene blanchard, 174 00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:38,251 And this is my daughter Sue blanchard. 175 00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,853 Hi. How are you? 176 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,088 Sue. 177 00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:42,355 Pleased to meet you. 178 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,757 Yes. 179 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:46,627 Listen, We don't mean To intrude here. 180 00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,729 You girls waiting For your husbands? 181 00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:51,198 No. Neither of us Is married. 182 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:54,968 Well, I'll see what I can do about that. 183 00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:57,137 Would you Care to join us? 184 00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:58,972 Well, thank you, yeah. 185 00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,641 Yeah, thank you Very much. 186 00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:02,776 You 2 ladies out On the town tonight? 187 00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:05,713 No. Actually we just Dropped by to rob The place. 188 00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:08,248 Everybody do as they say And nobody will get hurt! 189 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:11,585 No, coach. That was a joke. 190 00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:14,021 Well, I really enjoy A sense of humor. 191 00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:16,690 I mean, with me, It's an absolute must. 192 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:19,326 Is that A player piano Over there? 193 00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:21,662 Ha ha! 194 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,137 Coach, coach, That was not a joke. 195 00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:32,673 Oh. Well, I like 196 00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:34,675 A serious side To someone, too. 197 00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:37,310 Yes, that is A player piano. 198 00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:39,112 Would you like To see it? 199 00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:41,982 Yes. I haven't Seen one since I was a teenager. 200 00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:43,751 When was that, Last summer? 201 00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:46,987 Oh, mr. Pantuso, You're a sly one. 202 00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:48,521 If I didn't Know better, 203 00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:50,824 I'd think you were Trying to steal My heart away. 204 00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:53,393 I'd rather have it Given to me. 205 00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:55,996 Come on. 206 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:59,733 Sam, I'm not going too Fast for you, am I? 207 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:02,870 No, I'm just waiting For an opening, coach. 208 00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:06,006 Opening? You could Drive a truck Through this one. 209 00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:10,778 Well, here we are. 210 00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:13,446 Man. Woman. 211 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,248 Cool evening breeze. 212 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:16,650 Full moon. 213 00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,218 Need I say more? 214 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:21,689 Only if you Want me to know what You're talking about. 215 00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,391 I'm sorry. That was my cute way 216 00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:28,729 Of inviting you Out to dinner and an Evening of romance. 217 00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:32,599 Oh. Well, that's A very tempting offer, 218 00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:35,769 But mother and I Haven't been out 219 00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:37,971 For, oh, months. 220 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,639 Oh, well, I understand. 221 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,274 Just my luck, huh? 222 00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:43,043 Well, I tell you, If you change your mind, 223 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:45,545 There will be A moonbeam with Our name on it. 224 00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:49,549 Excuse me, sue, but ernie Wants to take me to dinner At his favorite restaurant. 225 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,318 I know you won't mind Because we've had Dinner together 226 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:53,220 Every night this week. 227 00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:57,925 Ahem. Very funny book. 228 00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:01,061 Don't wait up. 229 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:05,532 Sam, this is ok With you, isn't it? 230 00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,567 Sam, is this Ok with you? 231 00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:08,969 Oh, yeah. 232 00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:11,104 Good night. Don't worry. 233 00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,140 I'll have her back By thursday. 234 00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:19,980 Excuse me. You did Say you and mom 235 00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:22,482 Hadn't been out To dinner for months? 236 00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:27,220 Yes. I'm afraid I've been Caught in a lie. 237 00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:33,626 You were lying To get out of dating me? 238 00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:36,263 Well, I'm sorry. 239 00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:39,032 I was only trying To let you down easy. 240 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:42,836 You were trying to Let me down easy? 241 00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:44,537 The fact of the matter, Mr. Malone, 242 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,006 Is that you're Not my type. 243 00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:48,175 I'm not your type? Ha! 244 00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,610 You know, you're Not adding a lot To this chat. 245 00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:53,814 I'm not adding A lot to this chat? 246 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:56,917 Really, I'm sorry. What can I say? 247 00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:59,286 The initial attraction Just isn't there. 248 00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:00,587 I'm sorry. 249 00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:02,455 No problem. Are you kidding me? 250 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:05,425 I was just inviting you out To help out my pal. 251 00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:07,527 The truth is, you're Not my type, either. 252 00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:09,196 Well, fine. No harm done. 253 00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:11,164 No, none. I mean, There's nothing's Going on here. 254 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:15,568 No magic, No spark, no reason To continue. 255 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,939 What are you Doing tomorrow? 256 00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:21,975 Well, I'm not doing Anything tomorrow, 257 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,643 But what Does it matter? 258 00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:25,278 I'm not Interested in you. 259 00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:27,948 Right. We established That, right. 260 00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:30,250 Thursday? Friday? Saturday? This week? 261 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:33,253 Hey, I don't want To go out with you! 262 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:45,365 Oh. Ok, norm, So he blew one. 263 00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:46,934 He's not a god. 264 00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:53,273 He was to me. 265 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,508 There, there. 266 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:02,015 My world doesn't Make sense anymore. 267 00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:04,818 What's going on Here, sammy? What went wrong? 268 00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:06,219 Boy, you know, If you ask me, 269 00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:09,322 That girl's Got a big problem. 270 00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:12,359 You're right. It's called good taste. 271 00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:15,128 Oh, well, There you go. 272 00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,897 That explains it. Yeah. 273 00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:27,774 Tv: it's the bottom Of the ninth with two outs. 274 00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:29,877 The sox need a miracle. With the tying run on first... 275 00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:32,045 Carla, look, sox Are rallying. Ninth inning. 276 00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:34,447 I've sworn off Those losers forever. 277 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,550 Deep to right... 278 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:38,685 I am not interested. 279 00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:40,387 It's going, going... 280 00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,422 I retract that! Way to go, sox! 281 00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:45,258 Oh, it's caught. That will do it. 282 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:55,268 You know, I don't Ask for much in this life. 283 00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:57,170 Fresh fish, 284 00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,207 10 cents off On laundry detergent, 285 00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:04,477 Volcanic boils All over my ex-husband, 286 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:08,048 And the sox in the series Again before I die. 287 00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:10,417 You're A good woman, carla. 288 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:11,885 Ah, shove it. 289 00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:17,925 Did you remember To bring my sweater In tonight? 290 00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:20,293 Your--I'm sorry. I forgot that again. 291 00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,562 Don't worry. I promise, I'll bring it in Tomorrow night. 292 00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:25,032 Please. I have to Remind you every night. 293 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:29,002 Well, that's ok. It gives me A chance to throw it in The washing machine. 294 00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:32,239 For god's sake, don't Throw it in the wash. 295 00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,874 It's hand-spun Lamb's wool. 296 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,809 It will shrink up To nothing. 297 00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:38,345 Uh-huh. Well, shrink. 298 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,680 Yeah, I'm glad we had This little talk. 299 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,983 I didn't realize that. 300 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,489 Um... 301 00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:55,295 Uh, you know, um... 302 00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:57,364 Since I'm going To have to part With that sweater, 303 00:14:57,364 --> 00:15:00,200 Could you tell me Where I might be able to Get one exactly like it? 304 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,403 Sorry, sam. I bought it In ireland years ago. 305 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,638 It's one of a kind. Totally irreplaceable. 306 00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:07,074 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 307 00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:09,442 So if a guy had been spending The whole morning 308 00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,511 Going from one department Store to the next, 309 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,580 He'd have been Wasting his time? 310 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,248 Ah! 311 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,784 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 312 00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:19,919 I'm sorry. 313 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,622 It's clean. 314 00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:27,594 Sam, how could you? 315 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:31,131 Oh, come on. Don't be Small about this. 316 00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:35,002 I hate you. 317 00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:37,770 Well, don't you Want this? 318 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,573 What in the world Is it good for? 319 00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,342 Well... 320 00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:43,543 Did you ever see That movie 321 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:45,212 The incredible Shrinking woman? 322 00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:47,014 I pray to god It never happens to you, 323 00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:48,982 But you never know-- 324 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:53,720 [indistinct] 325 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,089 * isn't it romantic? * 326 00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:58,158 * ta da da da da da * 327 00:15:58,158 --> 00:15:59,726 * da dee dee da * 328 00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:02,529 Oh, hey, coach, I think I know somebody Who's in love. 329 00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:05,265 Oh, good. Buy him A beer. So am I. 330 00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,367 No, coach, I meant you. 331 00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:08,601 Oh, no, I don't need a beer. 332 00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:11,038 I'm just too happy As it is, cliff. 333 00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:13,873 Sam, I'm sorry things With you and sue Didn't work out. 334 00:16:13,873 --> 00:16:15,408 Don't worry about it. 335 00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:18,778 Who needs that walking Frigidaire, anyway? 336 00:16:18,778 --> 00:16:21,181 * isn't it romantic? * 337 00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:23,116 * ta da da da da da * 338 00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:26,686 * da dee dee da * 339 00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,221 Just goes to show, 340 00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:31,258 Love can strike Anywhere, anytime. 341 00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:34,061 It doesn't ask Your name. 342 00:16:34,061 --> 00:16:35,528 It doesn't Ask your age. 343 00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:36,463 It asks only-- 344 00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:39,266 How big are Your bazongas? 345 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,036 You are naughty. You are naughty. 346 00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:44,304 I should have known 347 00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:46,106 The beauty of this moment Was lost on you. 348 00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:47,974 Haven't you Realized yet 349 00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:49,376 There's a great Difference 350 00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:51,378 Between the coach's Affaire de coeur 351 00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:54,114 And your Animal cravings? 352 00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:57,417 Tap your cloven hoof Twice for yes. 353 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,354 Coach, isn't it Your night off Tonight? 354 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:04,657 Yeah, it's my night off. Irene's coming in, 355 00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:07,060 And I'm taking her up To melville's for dinner. 356 00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:08,728 Oh, whoa, Better dig deep, coach. 357 00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,997 It's pretty expensive Up north there. 358 00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:12,565 I've been saving For a couple of weeks. 359 00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:14,567 This is a very Special evening. 360 00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:17,437 I think it's wonderful You 2 found each other. 361 00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:19,672 You radiate such bliss. 362 00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:21,141 You want To know why? 363 00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:23,476 It's because we got So much in common. 364 00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:27,147 We both love music. We both love italian food. 365 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:29,549 She's a widow. I'm a widower. 366 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:32,319 She's a hairdresser. I got hair. 367 00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:33,920 And get this, diane-- 368 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,289 Neither of us have Ever been to utah. 369 00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,725 Whoa, That's scary. 370 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:41,060 Norm, you know what The back of my neck Looks like normally. 371 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,329 Check now. 372 00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:44,197 Ooh, every hair At attention. 373 00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:45,365 Except for that one. 374 00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:48,335 Snap to, mister! Get up! Hyah! 375 00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:51,104 I realize I've only Known her for three weeks, 376 00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:53,140 But this is the night. 377 00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:55,074 I'm going to ask her To marry me. 378 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,643 Oh, coach. 379 00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:58,878 All right! 380 00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:00,980 All right! 381 00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,349 Come here, You little devil. 382 00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:04,083 Listen, You've been single For a long time. 383 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,552 You sure about this? 384 00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:08,121 Sure, I'm sure, sam. You know something, Sam? 385 00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:09,489 I think Even my angela 386 00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:10,890 Would have Liked this lady, 387 00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:12,392 Don't you? 388 00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:14,394 Yeah, I think She would have. 389 00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:15,695 I figured Why put it off? 390 00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:18,298 You know, we're both Not kids anymore. 391 00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:21,301 The thing is, I don't quite know How to ask her. 392 00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:23,470 Anybody got Any suggestions? 393 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,638 The only proposal I've ever heard was nick's. 394 00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:28,808 Well, it worked. What did he say? 395 00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:31,778 "Hey, carla, I knocked you up, And you know where I live, 396 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,380 So I guess I have to." 397 00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:37,884 Not bad. 398 00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:41,788 Now, moving on To the higher primates... 399 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,089 Hey, hey, hey. 400 00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:46,259 Normie, how did you Propose to vera? 401 00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:48,094 Well, I... 402 00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:49,362 You know something? 403 00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:51,531 I don't think I did. 404 00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:52,932 You think there Could be a loophole 405 00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:54,934 In this Terrible tragedy? 406 00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:56,636 Not if you Consummated it. 407 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,271 Egads! Why couldn't We have had 408 00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:00,307 This conversation Yesterday? 409 00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:05,445 Well, now, I've written Down a few ideas, 410 00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:07,280 And I guess they're gonna Have to do the trick. 411 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,550 Normie, should I ask her Before we order? 412 00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:13,220 Because I don't want To ask her 413 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:15,288 With something Sticking in my teeth, 414 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,789 Especially If it's green. 415 00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:18,358 Yeah. Why don't you Just play it safe 416 00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:21,127 And drape a napkin Over your head. 417 00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:23,830 Not bad. Not bad. 418 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,433 Hi, ernie. 419 00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:27,934 Oh, hi, sweetheart. 420 00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:30,069 Are you ready for The best dinner Of your life? 421 00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:31,504 Ernie, every dinner I have with you 422 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,873 Is better Than the one before it. 423 00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:35,708 Aw. Aw. Aw. 424 00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:38,010 No, no, no, no. 425 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,111 What's the matter? 426 00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:40,347 This is wednesday. 427 00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:42,048 Every wednesday Up at melville's, 428 00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:43,850 The vegetable is spinach. 429 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,084 Spinach is green. 430 00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:47,487 You know What that means, right? 431 00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:50,590 So please sit down. I've got a couple questions. 432 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,760 What I want to say is... 433 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,395 Wait a minute. 434 00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:58,865 I've got, uh... 435 00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,600 Irene, uh... 436 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,602 "I'm not a rich man. 437 00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:04,271 I'm not a young man. 438 00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:06,273 I'm not a handsome man. 439 00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:08,475 I'm not a tall man. 440 00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:10,443 I'm not a strong man. 441 00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:12,645 I'm not a talented man. 442 00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:14,314 I'm not A well-traveled man. 443 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:15,782 I'm not a smart man. 444 00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:17,083 I'm not a milkman. 445 00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,719 I'm not a fat man. 446 00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,321 I'm not A gingerbread man..." 447 00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:23,823 What are you Trying to say? 448 00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:25,224 Oh, I don't need A piece of paper 449 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,959 To tell you what My feelings are. 450 00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:29,762 Irene, uh... 451 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:32,699 Well, maybe I do. 452 00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:35,335 Uh... 453 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:37,203 "Irene, I'm not A rich man. 454 00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:38,371 I'm not a young man--" 455 00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:39,972 Coach. Coach. 456 00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:46,245 Oh, yeah. Look, I'm... 457 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,847 Irene, what I'm trying to say is 458 00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:50,650 That I love you, And I want you To marry me, 459 00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:51,984 But I can't Find the words to say it. 460 00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:55,622 You've said All the words You need to. 461 00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:57,724 I'd love To be your wife. 462 00:20:57,724 --> 00:20:59,559 She said yes! 463 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:04,764 Oh! 464 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,132 Fantastic! 465 00:21:06,132 --> 00:21:08,501 I guess this seems to be The time for the bartender 466 00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:10,370 To pour some champagne. 467 00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:12,104 Oh, I'm sorry, sam. What am I thinking? 468 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:15,241 No, coach, coach, 469 00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:16,876 I got it. 470 00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:21,548 There have been many Celebrations in this bar, 471 00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:25,151 But none as joyous And as inspiring 472 00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:28,220 As what we are Experiencing here. 473 00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:30,390 Wasn't it swinburne Who first said-- 474 00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:31,891 [telephone rings] 475 00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:33,593 I'll get it. I'll get it. I'll get it. 476 00:21:33,593 --> 00:21:34,994 Relax. 477 00:21:34,994 --> 00:21:36,629 I'm the bartender. 478 00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:38,565 [ring] 479 00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:42,335 Cheers. 480 00:21:42,335 --> 00:21:44,471 Oh, well, hello, sue. 481 00:21:44,471 --> 00:21:46,473 Irene, it's Your daughter. 482 00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:51,243 Well, this is a surprise. Ha ha ha ha. 483 00:21:51,243 --> 00:21:54,514 I've been expecting this Phone call for a long time. 484 00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:56,749 Ok. Commence begging. 485 00:21:58,050 --> 00:21:59,251 Sam. 486 00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:00,753 Sam malone. 487 00:22:02,121 --> 00:22:03,523 Yeah, she's here. 488 00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:05,758 She wants To talk to you. 489 00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:11,531 Sam, you seem to be Working awfully hard 490 00:22:11,531 --> 00:22:12,799 To get a date With a woman 491 00:22:12,799 --> 00:22:15,001 Who obviously wouldn't Cross the street 492 00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:16,736 To spit in your hair. 493 00:22:16,736 --> 00:22:20,440 Don't worry. Don't worry. 494 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,675 She will when she gets To know me. 495 00:22:27,747 --> 00:22:30,349 What's wrong, Sweetheart? 496 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:32,251 I just... What? 497 00:22:32,251 --> 00:22:33,720 I can't believe it. 498 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,154 Ernie... 499 00:22:35,154 --> 00:22:37,023 I won the lottery. 500 00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:39,025 $2 million! 501 00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:40,560 Oh! Oh! Oh! 502 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,462 Oh, my god. 2 million bucks. 503 00:22:42,462 --> 00:22:44,931 I think I'm a little woozy. 504 00:22:44,931 --> 00:22:46,733 Sam, get some brandy. 505 00:22:46,733 --> 00:22:48,768 Make it The good stuff. She can afford it. 506 00:22:48,768 --> 00:22:50,503 Oh, good. 507 00:22:50,503 --> 00:22:52,839 Look, look, irene, Whatever you do, 508 00:22:52,839 --> 00:22:54,641 Don't tell me that was The only lottery ticket 509 00:22:54,641 --> 00:22:56,543 You ever bought Even if it was. 510 00:22:56,543 --> 00:22:58,010 It's a deal. 511 00:22:58,010 --> 00:22:59,612 I knew it! Sam! 512 00:23:01,180 --> 00:23:03,450 I think we ought To have a drink To celebrate. 513 00:23:03,450 --> 00:23:04,784 I'm buying. 514 00:23:04,784 --> 00:23:07,487 I thought Of that, too. 515 00:23:07,487 --> 00:23:09,155 I can't believe it! 516 00:23:09,155 --> 00:23:10,923 I'm stinking rich! 517 00:23:10,923 --> 00:23:14,260 Listen, I better go up And tell vic we'll be A little late. 518 00:23:14,260 --> 00:23:16,395 Oh, boy, what a night! 519 00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:19,532 Oh, my goodness. How about that, irene? 520 00:23:19,532 --> 00:23:21,901 What a night for you, huh? 521 00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:24,571 Imagine. Two such Wonderful developments 522 00:23:24,571 --> 00:23:26,238 In a matter of minutes. 523 00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:29,041 Yes. I won the lottery! 524 00:23:29,041 --> 00:23:31,177 And... 525 00:23:31,177 --> 00:23:33,913 What was the other thing?